I've ridden twice, yesterday and today. Yesterday was hill work at a walk, plus some canter for strength and wind and relaxation in the back arena. Today was a "normal" arena ride. We've talked some about working more on stretchy trot circles and the shallow loop that T3&4 require. I went into the still set up dressage arena just to play with the loop because I've never ever ridden that, but serpentines instead. So the first thing I have to do is figure out the geometry of riding that, then we'll work on that change of bend. Of course, having bend to the left would be nice. But it will come.
But there are ten thousand other things I've been thinking of, pondering through, pretty much all related to ambition. I can't seem to get them out in any way that might not be offensive to someone somewhere who I need on my side. How do I get to be the best that I can be? How do I get to offer the most that I can offer? I am happy taking care of the barn. I am happy being a person to be relied upon. It does not stem from discontent but I am more than a shit shoveler and water tank filler. I can do more. I can be better. I have more to offer. I need and I want to take lessons, but I don't need or want to take lessons to get ready for a show but in order to be a better rider/horseman.
Also, damn I'm good.
At the end of the week, I work four days in a row. Four days in which three key people are out of town. Four days in which I have three really great horses to choose to ride at my convenience so long as the rest of the work gets done and I eventually get home.