T2

Rode the test twice today. With my primary competition no less! Love Dianne, she's outscored me before. There may be only one other person riding our test. We were wondering if everyone else had moved up except us! We really do have a very good time together.

Rolinette and I had a good time together too. We did a basic warm up and then I was just jonesing to ride the test but the boss's husband was there spraying some trees and weeds and Rol really doesn't like motorized things (he brought his gator with him) we we just walked until he was done. Then we did the test, the first time a little cold. She was a little sticky in the trot but otherwise I think it was pretty good. The second time through I could not get a straight halt to save my life, and the second canter tried to break twice. I've got to be really strong on that. Let her go because she can do a really ok canter and it has a coefficient so we really need them to be nice!

Gosh but it was hot today. Rode early but worked the rest of it. Roasted.

I do not sing the blues!

Whew! Only one not correct lead this morning and we did lots of canter and lots of transitions. Of course, I'm still knocking on wood that this is it. And of course, nothing is it because, well, it just isn't. There are always the next things to work on, improvements to make, tests to perfect (ha!), and of course, the next horses or the next students and everything else. So it is never done and I love that about it, while I also love the testing to see where you are right here in this moment thing, which is what a show is at least partly about.

Anyway. Mostly the usual. Except I did leave the stirrups one hole higher than where I usually ride with them. I need to wear my tall boots to see where the stirrup goes then . . . but I've got no spare britches really. Ok, I do, I can wear the tan ones. I sure as heck am not putting the white ones on except for the show. (Speaking of, where IS that hat? Again.) Lots of walk warm up. The usual transitions, circles, shoulder fores, leg yields, stretches, contractions. Some trot. Then canter. I probably did three right transitions and 6 left ones. The one slip up was all. She was funny a few times, like once she got really heavy in the bridle cantering, but it is just like we are figuring each other out here I think, and she's playing.

The only bad? When I told Lisa why I'd had a much better ride, or at least that it had come after I shortened my stirrups, she said, "So when you are not so off balance, it works." Gee thanks. Just to clarify, I've no doubt that I was somewhat off balance. I think the cross-canter attests to that. But I also think a large part of it is due to her being green and me not taking that enough into account. She is so giving, so beautiful, and so old that you just think she's done more than she's done. I would also attest that no teacher had made any such suggestion to me and that I worked it out, thank you very much (grin).

I have hope.

Gloom, despair and agony on me

I hope you watched Hee Haw. Oh, come on, who besides me ever watched Hee Haw and does dressage? They are sort of antithetical aren't they? But I'm a cowgirl so I can get away with it. Besides, it was at my grandparents' house.

I rode this morning. It was not pretty. I mean, it started out fine and if a show weren't coming up I'd have been fine with it too but I kinda need canter at this point and I wasn't having this much trouble with it last time for heavens sakes. Last time I figured out that I could bend her, set her up fast, ask fast and pretty much get it every time. This time I can't. Yet. Figure. It. Out.

And she bucked. I mean kicked pretty high one time. But she got the correct lead. Because what happened that time was that she was beginning to pick up the correct lead and was hesitating and going about her thing that changes it into the wrong one and I had the whip and used it (not harshly) and by gawd she cantered but she kicked like hell. I just kept her going. She even kicked on the right lead once, when we were a bit wide and about to canter right into a letter (the chains defining the arena are not up yet) and I asked her with that outside leg to move over (she wanted to trot and go around instead) and, again, she did it but registered her objection.

I have two opposing things going on here. I hear Kay Meredith saying, "Make the work easier than the resistance," and I do think a good part of this is just about resistance. But it isn't all about that. So the other part is about being very gentle and refining my asking and her understanding. My gut says this is not a one or the other thing but that I have to do both. It isn't about punishment but about work, so if we kick into canter, we still canter and don't get sidetracked by the kick.

I do feel very sidetracked by the canter at the moment though. I'm like, oh shit, should I scratch this whole thing? How bad could it be? Do you reckon we can counter-canter, cross-canter, and canter on the correct lead (I didn't say correctly canter!) all within half of one long side and one twenty meter circle? I have never even asked her for a canter on a long side and if I miss the first one, that's where it will be! Ach!

Breathe.

I'm thinking about shortening the stirrups and doing it from a dressage forward seat position! I mean, really, if I could get her correct from that . . . it would be worth a low score for effectiveness (how ironic would that be?). That's about the first thing I've thought to try that seems possible. Hmmm. That would be so unorthodox . . .

And what I forgot to write the first time was that we'd work on the canter thing and then we'd walk, you know. Then we'd try again. With me trying to hear what it is that is wrong. And finally I said, you know, girl, just one good transition. And she gave me the most relaxed canter transition left ever. Not a beautiful canter but a great up transition. So we did a stretchy trot (sort of) and quit.

Now I'm like saying to her, honey, we need one good test day of show. And I could use decent rides this week building up to it too. Please. Although if I fall on my face, well, that's what I do. Sometimes that's the way of things. I'll probably cry. It is the week of crying in the cycle.

extra ride

well, not really extra since I didn't get to ride Tuesday. But the show is coming up and I've got like five more possible rides if nothing goes wrong. To be perfect. hahaha.

So we left the kids at home and went in and while I rode, he did stocking. Then when I was finished I did stocking with him. Then the whole family spent the rest of the day at the lake.

But first the ride. When I got there the ladies were in a lesson then Susan had a lesson so I didn't get to ride in the dressage arena so we didn't practice the actual test yet. Which may be good. I'm always in between on that riding the test so you know what you have issues with and not riding it but riding all the movements and working on it that way.

So we started out with just the usual, free walk, working walk, transitions, shoulder fore/in, circle, free walk, etc. I think after the first trot I added a few 1/4 pirouettes at walk. I would need someone watching the back end to make sure I still had the movement but that girl can do walk pirouettes now I'm pretty sure. Shoulder in not so much. I basically forgot to alternate off with leg yields and so I'll remember it next time. Then we trotted for a little warm up, transitions, shoulder fore, circle. Then I went ahead and asked for right lead canter so that I could come back to more walk and trot work then do the other lead, etc. First ask and got a cross canter, which had happened before. What is that? Is that me being off balance or something? Anyway. Second ask and it was the most beautiful canter, almost but not quite right from the beginning. She relaxed right into it. The downward transition was a little rough but I took that for that beautiful canter. It was so nice Lisa actually stopped what she was doing and watched it!

So then we walked some, then some more trot and walk work. Then left lead canter. Still had problems with that upward transition, getting the correct lead. But we did, and it was ok. We did that transition several times but didn't hold the canter but for about half a circle.

Then stretchy trot the other way (I'd done one after the other canter already) and we quit. She wasn't even hot but I felt like I'd gotten good work out of her. There's really so much more to do.

If I had a goal for this show it would just be to score 60 but I don't know if we can, honestly. The walk and the canter have coefficients and they are not our strong points. But still, if I can ride accurately enough and if she'll cooperate in the transitions especially, it should be possible. Just possible.

I am fine if I don't get a lesson at all before this one. I'm fine if I do too (although I do not want it to be the last ride before the show!). But I have this depth of trusting myself in this process. I mean, you need coaching, you need lessons, but less, I think, FOR a show. That is sort of like teaching to the test. It really helps to have someone see that your circles are all too small and point it out so that you can be mindful of that. But, well, I guess I just also trust the me and the horse thing.

two rides

Sunday I had a regular ride, in which we did pretty much the normal, expected things. She's very much in season and we still had issues in the canter departs, especially left. But we're doing much better on the stretches. I think.

Today we rode just walking the hills. I remind myself not to "work" on anything else by not even putting my half-chaps on for these. And I didn't lower the stirrups (since I use the boss's saddle, I usually put the stirrups down a hole and a half . . . but only a half-hole if I've got on my tall boots). And we had fun. It is this sort of work I think will be best for her actually, where she can stretch her nose out in front of her a bit and not curl herself into a ball, etc. I've begun asking her to stop on the downhills, just a thing to help that idea of getting her hind legs under herself. And after the hills we did pick up canter in both directions, in almost a forward seat, in the back arena . . . with no problems I might note. Reins fairly loose, head low and nose forward. She trotted a bit fast especially into left lead but *that's how horses start doing it when they are learning it* and I've almost decided that that is where she is. Really green in other words. I should perhaps treat her like a youngster in what I expect from her and also in how I ask her for things. A very stiff and somewhat weak youngster, but hey.

Show the 10th. T-2 again. So I'm working mostly on the strength hoping that will improve the quality of the gaits, thinking rhythm steady, big accurate circles, and for the show I will think forward. In fact, I think forward will be the key to getting the canter transitions.

easy ride

It has been so hot, and she's a black horse. The tractor was hooked up to the bushhog and the manure spreader was full(ish). And so I brought horses in, fed, threw the only two day turn-out horses out, and rode. And even at that, I didn't ride too hard. I didn't even ask for a canter. We concentrated on the slightly lateral work we've been doing at walk and trot interspersed with stretches and transitions. Then we left the arena and walked the hill a couple of times.

On our way out of the arena, a horse and rider fell down. It was, well, odd. He, the horse, just lost focus and fell down. No one was hurt. But it was interesting. It was funny how we didn't mention it for the most part the rest of the day -- one doesn't want the insecure riders being more insecure because then they are more likely to fall, not less. And yet you have to understand that it is always a possibility. And the best thing, the very best thing, would be to have each and every rider practice falling, learning how to fall well. Which the woman who was on the horse did by the way -- she handled herself quite well. Anyway.

ride

off for a week. Stuff happened, including a foal death and lots of thunder too. So I went in this morning to ride. I could tell we'd both been off a week. It wasn't bad. Still trying to be very deliberate and plodding, while maybe asking for just a touch of lengthening occasionally? I've been reading Riding Through by Debbie McDonald and so had her ideas in mind too. I spent a lot of time at walk, transitioning from walk to shoulder fore to circle to stretch to walk to stop to walk etc. Then some of the same at trot. I'm still thinking her rear end isn't reaching across but just trailing behind in the lateral work at trot . . . but I don't know that. At trot I worked several times (not just at the end of the ride) to get her to stretch (this mostly came out of Debbie's book, the ideas for it -- shoulder fore to get her on the bit then ask for the stretch after she's securely on the bit) -- which she did some. Still some problems with the canter, particularly left lead. Today I think she cross-cantered that lead once. Dianne pulled in right as she was doing it and I asked her if she was bucking or cross-cantering because it felt downright weird. Very up and down like bucking and yet different. Except if she has an issue with the hind end, why would she do the correct lead behind and wrong up front? Am I so unbalanced asking for this? What is going on? So I asked Dianne, not really joking, can I please ride your horse one day, just so I can feel a different horse. Friesians are so . . . Friesian. They are not straightforward to ride. At all. There is not a more beautiful horse in the world than Rolinette but she's interesting. So anyway, I did several canter transitions in each direction, interspersed with more walk work. She felt very strong in the canter but not relaxed. Sigh.

Coming up on a horse show. I'll try T2 again I'm sure. I would hope to score a 60 but who the heck knows. Remember those coefficients. Ride accurately. Do our best. See what happens.

not much

I didn't sleep well last night and was very tired today. I knew Cathy planned to come by to ride and I decided that if she did, I would ride with her, and if she didn't, I wouldn't ride. Well, here I am writing so she did!

Now, this is three days in a row for Rolinette so I didn't want to do too much. I think the canter weirdness the other day was her heat cycle again as she definitely was winking today. So I mostly worked slowly and laterally. I need eyes on the trot shoulder fores/leg yields as I can tell when her fore is crossing over but I'm entirely unsure what is happening behind. I miss shoulder-in-ing toward a mirror! I felt like she curled a little worse today (should I say lack of forward?) I didn't really ride her very long at all -- as hot as it was she was barely hot but did get a cold shower anyway.

Cathy is a blast and I think Julie and I will be going to FENCE at the end of the month to visit with Andre and Kay and watch all the fancy horses!

ride with ladies

Rol and I took a spin with the ladies and Star and Adonis today. I tried my best to plod along (just kidding although I really did concentrate on rhythm and not once on forward . . . well, maybe I did ride a diagonal a little, um, steadily). We did a good bit of mini-lateral work (shoulder fore, leg yield) in walk and trot. I had some trouble picking up canter leads again today which is somewhat unusual when I'm not in a class. But especially that left lead -- it felt like if I had the bend, that that was when she picked up the wrong lead which makes no sense at all. Well, next time. We also tried to ask for a little bit of bend often. The bend asks her to step under herself and that may be just exactly what she's objecting to in canter.

And the ladies and I had fun. And I think the horses too. We enjoy our little Monday romps.

not a blank slate

I guess sometimes it is how something is worded. “What did you learn in your lesson?” If I’d answered that question, I would have said “nothing” but I took a clue from my brilliant son and answered a different question instead, with basically what I said on this blog about the lesson. It was a great lesson but I can't say I "learned" something because, to me, it takes more than that to learn something.

Then I was told that Andre had said privately, “I wish people wouldn’t use the term ‘forward‘ at all.” Well, since I’m the only one on the farm who ever talks about forward, I’m feeling a bit defensive about that one.

I don’t come to this thing tabula rasa, I have knowledge and experience and opinions and biases already, and one of the things I really really think is, you have to go forward. I know rhythm and regularity are at the base of the training scale, but I also know that you have to go forward to BE rhythmic and regular. I’m not a blithering idiot; I know that “forward” does not mean “faster tempo”. But people, a gate cannot be “pure” if it lacks forwardness (like a four beat canter); people cannot learn to post on a horse who is jogging; etc.

Ok, now that I’ve got that off my chest. I’m sure I shouldn’t take it personally. I'm sure I shouldn't take it personally but I swear I am the only one on that farm who ever says that word.

So, I rode today. I just saddled quickly and went out back and walked that hill three times. Then I cantered in the back ring. My thoughts were on fitness today, and relaxation, and doing something different.

I will ride this out, in Andre and Lisa's way. I recognize that I am riding by grace and that I am not autonomous. I'm afraid sometimes of wanting too much. I afraid sometimes of wanting too much to be good.

I will ride their way and take my own lessons from it.

But I am good, damn it.

Mr. not Pierre

Finally the day came to ride under Andre's instruction. In some ways it has been a long time coming -- I think Andre has wondered if I really ride at all! In others, I think it is a miracle that it can happen at all.

Andre is very different. My previous teachers were students primarily of Germans, or those of the German school. Andre is of the French school. German is strength; French is finesse, to oversimplify a lot.

Also, what he told me was in some ways very different than what I was doing. What is funny about that is that it doesn't make me feel like I've been wrong but like there is more than one way to skin a cat as it were. I suppose that goes back to horses being the one thing that I'm not apologetic about.

His emphasis was on rhythm. Not so much forward. He said big horses feel slow. So at times today Rol felt plodding. He says, rhythm first, then bend, and in that bend (and with fitness), we ask her to step more under herself with her hind end.

And that was sort of it. He corrected my inside leg position saying it was just a smidge (like half an inch) further back than it should be -- that little bit more forward gives her the post around which to bend. He said it was an unusual fault. He didn't once tell me to sit back and when I remarked on that at the end of the lesson, he said, no, your position is pretty good, and besides, where she is right now, you have to be forward a tiny bit.

In the finesse, he did say to sit back consciously when asking for upward transitions and to not sit back when asking for downward transitions.

We did a lot of riding the corners, deeper into the corners, and asking her to bend, and consciously and consistently riding through the corners. Oh, that is so much something I remember from my old MM days, those corners were so important! I have probably been slopping through them, and I've known I haven't been neat in them on Rol but I've focused on other things. So ride the corners.

We did some shoulder fore. He didn't use it with me as I've seen him do with others as almost an idea of shoulder fore (almost a way to be straight) but with me he did it more an only a slightly less intense shoulder-in. Rol is not very lateral (understatement). Lateral work asks her to step under herself.

Also, don't lean. I didn't even realize I was doing that and that is so bad!

After the lesson, when I was off somewhere else walking Rol out (she was quite hot and huffing a bit although I'd been so transported with concentration I hardly felt like we'd worked at all -- I was so concentrated that I literally felt like I was in a different world, a world that was just horses, just riding, just being perfect and in perfect partnership), Andre said to Lisa (reported later by Lisa); "She's a good partner for Rolinette; she's not too busy." You know what? I'm good with that! I know how to be quiet on a horse. I like that a lot.

Of course, I got off wanting to do it again tomorrow, wanting to do it again everyday for a week, wanting to do it every day period.

just a ride

Just a ride and a preparation for the Andre lesson tomorrow. And a shirking of my farm duties too probably. And make no mistake, "just a ride" is a magnificent thing.

I can't think of anything spectacular to report about this ride though. She didn't buck into canter. Lisa had said that was probably about her being in heat. We did everything usual except we didn't go walk the hill because I don't want her to be sore tomorrow. She was nicely forward, for her, I think. I try to think forward when she tries to curl which seems to work better for me than more uphill. I struggle with shoulder fore with her and I know Andre will ask for lots of that tomorrow so we just might find out I've got it all wrong or something -- like maybe I'm making more than it is. Andre loves shoulder fore. I worked in 10M circles at walk and 15M circles at trot then asking for lengthenings -- today I think the lengthenings also involved quickening which isn't so good but she also lowers that head and stretches out some which is good. I tried to keep it mixed up so that I wasn't always asking for things in the same pattern because she's so smart, if I do the same thing twice, she anticipates it the second time. She stretched at trot ok.

I was looking forward to the lesson tomorrow with almost no dread until I got the ride times. I am so funny with that, that nervousness, that overwhelming desire to be good that is almost paralyzing and so you either overcome it or you can never be any good. I'm still looking forward to it.

But I think she is improving. I really do.