This is kind of a place holder in that this happened today but the bulk of this story happened already and I haven't written about it yet. But here's what happened today. Heather was at the barn talking about a horse and a student, trying to fathom through what is going on with them so that she can help them. In the midst of it she said to me, "CG, you see them here, you come out and teach her and maybe you can see what is going on." Me, who was just told it would not ever be possible for me to teach, train or ride there. I did not talk to her, yet, about it but obviously she quite naturally sees me as a competent professional, a peer not an underling.
Husband said, "Write this down. Lisa is the only person who doesn't see you that way and you need to collect the evidence so that you believe yourself." Or something like that.
I gotta get back on that horse and ride.
Which, another funny thing today. I talked to Rolinette about the situation, more in depth than I had to this point. And I told her I wanted and needed to hear what she had to say. But of course, she just looks at me and listens with that soulful eye then walked over to me and put her forehead on my chest in the most amazing way. Later, after I'd taken her out of her stall to clean it (rain kept everyone inside today), taking her back to her stall she stopped, she looked in the wash rack, and she tried to go into the wash rack. That's where we'd groom and tack up if I were to do such a thing. It was her way of telling me to get back on that horse and ride.
I truly needed both those things.