in which my pinkie was held exactly

That's what my husband says, that dressage is about holding one's pinkie at exactly the right attitude; that horses, like cars, are about getting from here to there not trotting in circles, etc. Most of the time he means it in fun, sometimes in earnest. It is fine. I don't find it within myself to explain why dressage makes every horse better. But it does.

So today I had a glowing sort of lesson in which things went really really well and I suppose my pinkie was at the exact correct angle or something. Or I was holding my mouth right. I shouted out in the middle of the lesson, "I love you Lisa!", that's how good it was.

Partly it is about instruction. "When her head comes up, sit taller, open your chest," and you know what? It works. Simple as that. I can think it to myself a lot but it helps to have other eyes. I can also forget it a lot in the working on something or the other else.

But it is also about time in the tack. For awhile there I felt very inefficient, ineffective at taking instruction, and I think that was about the need to just ride, to feel. To a great extent, the horse and the riding will put you there. I personally don't think there is any instructional substitute for getting on and riding, playing, experimenting. Laying down on your horse's neck while he meanders through a field; sliding down a creek bank without sliding over his ears, or bounding up it without dismounting the way Zorro mounts; that sort of thing.

So I'm getting past the instruction making everything worse I think. I went through that sort of deal my first three months at MM. Ah, but then we got to the good part and it was so much fun.

What happened in the lesson? Well, kind of the usual, try to keep the rhythm at working walk to free walk to working walk to halt to working walk, trot at first stinks than gets much better, try to keep the rhythm at trot (and this is when she'll be a bit inconsistent trying to anticipate maybe I want to stop now? No? Now? No . . . and I have to stretch up, stretch the legs down) and we did figure eights changing the bend and trying to work off that inside leg (especially that left leg . . . if she gets that she can go left and bend left that is going to be so beautiful), and then a trotting figure eight to a canter transition. She almost fell down during the first canter left, no idea why. So we did another left and it was better (I still have to remember allow forward), and then right was just almost beautiful and we stopped there.

I said the "I love you" thing when there was just a moment of everything being right, when that bit of instruction fixed things for a moment and it was all there. I love that there is always more to riding, more to learn, more to do, forty-eleven things to think about all at once; but I also love those moments when it is all there, when that pinkie is exactly right.

Sunday ride

I was told today, "I need my saddle at 3." Oh, ok, yes.

Maybe first I have to say that Julie rode Dollar today for the first time in 2 1/2 years! The delay was due to health problems. I'm so tickled that Julie is back! Hooray. Actually, there's lots of good stuff going on there on many fronts.

So, first the beautiful girl scared me this morning by laying flat out int he field with T standing over her when I pulled in. She looked a little to "flat" to me and it scared me. I parked and ran to the field . . . when she raised her head I said, "Nevermind."

The ride went well. Not very long and since it was cooler today and breezy, she didn't even sweat. I trotted the diagonal and bent her and thought forward and asked once for the left canter and thought forward again and we went! First time. Then we walked and trotted some more (worked on some leg yields at walk and serpentines at trot, along with lots of stretches) and did the same thing on the right lead and it happened again. Also, in canter, on the right lead the canter actually felt pretty good today (she can be hoppy), I think the best it has ever felt. On the left lead, she leans in like a motorcycle rider would and I worked to get enough inside leg on her to straighten her a bit and managed it for a few strides and so that felt great. She also did some good transitions, was very willing, etc. Today I just had no complaints and felt things generally went well.

Hopefully we have a lesson tomorrow.

another ride

That's nice to say, "another ride". Yes. It is the earliest I've gotten to ride in a long time which was also nice. Love the mornings. But when I'm working, I always default to getting the work done first, then riding. I should probably change my mindset on that -- feed, set up, turn out, ride then work.

It was lawnmower day, plus Greg was there running hither and yon doing useful things on the bobcat and Rol's one fear is something with a motor behind her. So I would just change where I was working in the arena according to what was going on, plus we did a lot of walk work. Goodness but she was stretching wonderfully today.

I also had that change in ride routine in mind but with the lawnmower and her also having to teach a walk lesson later in the day, we never did canter the other way, only the "bad" side. We did ok. 'Exuberant transition' might have been the judge's comment, exuberant enough that one was almost a real buck. It was fun. We also did a decent trot stretch to the left. We did the right one after the canter and on the "scary" end of the arena so it wasn't as nice but she did stretch some on it.

on an off day

I did not work, and yet I rode! We had to go in to town on another mission and I took the opportunity to ride! Hooray.

And much better all in all in the ride. Forward, forward forward. She is easy to ball up, and I tend to do that to her. That dang canter transition took a couple tries but happened much better than the other day. And the downward transitions were downright nice.

She is so funny though in that once she canters, she is so READY to canter again. The test moves through one trot then from one canter down to walk then trots again before going back to canter and I need to do that in our rides too -- not move from one lead to the other right away.

Hoo boy was the barn rockin' today. LB, Regina, the ladies, Shawna, Tammy, Courtney. And me! Also will hopefully be riding again in the mornin'!

I should probably mention the doubts I went through the other day. I was tired mostly from vehicle issues. I couldn't ride for a couple of days because of vehicle issues. So, nothing really to do with riding or the show. But the very questionable canter transitions the other day didn't exactly help either. And I will be working the barn the day of the show. And I just got to thinking that it might be better to just not ride in the show; to just work the barn and maybe scribe some for the judge, and I would think that and then burst out crying (and I was at the barn doing this). What I have learned from this is to never do what makes me cry like that! LOL!

You know, I might not have a pretty ride at the show, but I'm going for it. I was so proud of Lisa when she took Harley and went for First Level Test 4. I am not a timid person. I do not know why I get so backed off and balled up about something I love doing so much.

training two?

I had the privilege of riding Rolinette with "the ladies" and their steeds in a group lesson. Now, I love group lessons, probably because that's what most of my experience is. I also love swapping horses in group lessons -- you get to see, literally see, what is effective and, honestly, how your riding compares, all under tutelage to get better.

And I love riding with the ladies because I love the ladies! They are hilarious sisters-in-law. Lisa, the instructor, did wonder how much it would add up to if we added all our ages and our horses' ages together (somewhere near 230 years I believe). We're an experienced lot, even if all that experience isn't in dressage.

Rolinette is such a pleasure to ride. And we had a really good lesson. I committed to trying to ride her in an upcoming schooling show in Training Level Test 2 which is a little of a stretch but not too bad. Might not get good scores but I want to try it. I'd do test one but test two gives a bit more time between canters which gives time to settle. I was also thinking of how I want to warm up before the test . . . totally in the back arena, and enough time but not too much, like twenty minutes maybe -- enough time to loosen up, to practice the transitions, to settle back, but not to get tired or bored or decide she's done. But that of course won't be set in stone this far out.

So, the lesson was good. Some decent stretches, decent walk, actually nice trot, decent transitions for the most part. Then came the canter. Truth is, I haven't actually cantered that much since I got back to riding. It isn't like I have a horse out here that I can just go out on and GO like I did when I was a kid. Everything is arena driven now. So I got to canter Jeb some when I was riding him. Bart a few times. Not Dollar though. I rode Casey one day and cantered her one way (hers was actually the most comfortable of them all) but couldn't get the other lead and I wasn't really riding her, I was just on her for a minute. Anyway. I've cantered Rolinette more than anyone probably, but for like a circle, maybe two at a time. And I somehow had her all balled up during the lesson. Our first canter, on her better side (right) was ok; I had to circle to get the transition and then it was bunny hopping like crazy and when I'd finished my circle I was ready to drop right to walk because I was exhausted! Lots of leg to keep her going and keep my butt in the saddle.

And this is where an instructor is so important -- Lisa said that she was just about as collected as she can get and for me to let her go some. Hey hey hey, I hadn't realized! So we did it again and it was powerful, not that correct but much more ride-able. Lisa said if that power didn't intimidate me (are you kidding?) to let it go like that. Wow. Ok.

The other direction was bad. Could. Not. Get. The. Transition. She was sucking back and turning inside out and she would almost take off on the correct lead and then suck back and if I was doing that I didn't know it so it became just let her go (except I have to remember to NOT say go), and finally we did it, she did it, we just went forward around on that lead. Try again another ride!

I'd never had that trouble before so it was frustrating. I always suspect myself, my form, my imbalance, my whatever. But I also think it had to do with her standing still while we were watching the others do the exercise . . . so in a group lesson again, I may try to keep walking with her. Should I get to do that group lesson again anyway. I hope so.

So, I've got three weeks and finding this darn vehicle is talking up way too much riding and thinking time. If we can get that settled, I'm going to see just how often I can ride her (3Xweek I hope).

nice ride

Nice ride on Rolinette today. She's on night turn-out now and SLEEPS during the day, almost so much that you'd worry about her but she probably did that at night and we just weren't there to see like we are during the day. Anyway, I was going to ride in the afternoon but she would not get up! Would. Not. Get. Up. So I grinned at her and got to help Lisa as ground person on the big Drum she's breaking (she did great and is really ready to ride without a ground person probably) and started on the night stalls and waited until after supper when I knew she'd be up. It was cooler then too.

I should probably start taking a whip in with me. She's fine most of the time but occasionally a bit of help with promptly responding to the aids would be nice. I still have some issues with her head bobbing and this has to be my inconsistency because I don't think Lisa has this issue. Sigh. I need lessons. Anyway. We did have some great transitions. I find that when I want an upward transition that she wants to turn inside out instead of hold the bend . . . not sure what that is about either. We had a much better trot stretch the other day than today . . . really need to improve that but at least the walk stretches are getting better.

I worked her a little hard which surprised me . . . I thought I was too out of shape to bother her. If I get the chance to ride her tomorrow, it will be very light. But it was warm enough to rinse her off which was nice.

Loving all of this.

that little organization?

Glad that is over. When will we learn to trust our guts and not be seduced by potential? I gave up on potential in men a long time ago (thank you David for finally teaching me that you slug) but evidently I'm not entirely over my romance with potential. Well, maybe I am now actually.

One pimple on the butt of the universe gone. Well, not gone from the universe but gone from galling me.

my own version of Pegasus

Late afternoon ride in the sun on Rolinette. Gawd but she is such a beautiful horse, and kind and responsive, and I do so love horses. She put her head down at that first canter again today and her mom got to see it and we both laughed. She's telling me she could buck me off if she wanted to, and you know probably any horse who really decided to get you off could, but that wouldn't be any fun for me or for her I don't think and so we play together. Even got her to stretch once fairly well at the trot.

quick wet ride

Quick ride with it trying to rain but not really getting it (the raining) done. She was a lot more energetic and responsive. Lisa's put a few rides on her and she also got hind shoes and injected with Adequan. I saw Lisa ride her the other day and even motoring, she wasn't tracking and somehow that has put a whole new spin on my ride in the dressage show in my head. Hopefully the Adequan will help with that (the tracking). But she's an old brood mare and that may just be how she is too and that is ok. Dressage is about training, about improving each horse where that horse is. Anyway, she felt good and I felt good and didn't pay overly too much attention to anything which just might be a good thing. I have no idea where my position was. I was like, walk, bend, stretch (much better), spiral, leg yield, transition, big circle, smaller circle, transition, stretch, collect, bend, transition, etc. I did canter and I think for the first time ever asked her to canter a line instead of a circle (after asking for canter on a circle of course). She was exuberant with the first transition which was fun. She and I were both exuberant with the cookies afterward.

Yes.

Rode Rolinette today. Have trail ride on Shay lined up for the weekend. Yes.

winter haitus

Long time, no blog. I’ve still been with the horses (working at the barn), of course, but it hasn’t been a riding sort of winter. Not at all and not for anyone who doesn’t have an indoor arena. I did get Rolinette out one day and lunged her, thinking we were going to be able to get back into it that week but that didn’t happen. Maybe this week.

But of course I still have to get hay and meet my regular obligations and it is supposed to rain.

Ah, but I have this other sort of horse endeavor I’m involved in now too. We have a little area dressage association started up and I suppose I’ll have to decide how honest and open to be on here about it for a few reasons. Ok, you know me, throw it to the wind. The people who started it were great to start it, hands down, but they seem to want it to be what THEY want it to be and it now has like 50 members and at some point it is going to have to move to being membership driven. Or lose a lot of that membership. In other words, it will have to stop conforming to the little picture in their mind and be responsive to whatever desires are out there. I don’t know what those are but I think I know some ways to help figure that out. So I’m chair of the sub-committee for “education” which will include clinics and whatever else we figure out.

glory days

If I were to tell a tale, well, there were lots of glory days. Lots and lots of glory days, some a moment long, some a bit longer, all glowing glowing, all still with some warmth.

We’d been at MM for nine months and it was the day of the Showmaster Championships, a horse show for the equivalent of “seniors”, those of us who’d be graduating with the Horsemaster diploma. The last four weeks or so the constant weekly changing of horses had stopped and everyone had chosen their “graduation horse” that they would ride for the Showmaster and for graduation which was a riding ceremony. We’d picked an underclassman to be our “groom” for the day. We’d picked our classes, I think we got our choice of any six.

Of all the English majors, Holly, Benson and I were the best. I was the third best, no doubt about that. Which of them was first would have been a toss up: Holly was an effective rider who always, always looked beautiful on a horse; Benson was the strongest damn rider I’ve ever seen still to this day. Me, I had a certain feel, I could sink down into a horse and ask them to do something and not get in their way and they usually would but I rarely looked that good doing it. I’d gotten a few blues through the year of weekly shows but not that many. I don’t know that anyone ever beat the three of us out for a blue ever -- it was always one of us.

So there we were on Showmaster day. We’d picked our classes, not all the same ones. Benson, I remember, picked a dressage class not because he particularly wanted to but because neither Holly nor I was entering it and it was an almost sure blue for him in that case. I don’t really have any idea what I picked except for that last class of the day: Choose Your Line.

Choose Your Line is jumping so prettiness doesn’t count, only cleanness. And fastness. I was on a cute little grade paint hunter type who would, it turned out, do anything at all I asked of him. Holly was on a bigger, rangier, more correct and astoundingly beautiful warmblood type. Benson had picked a little Quarter Horse that could. At this point in the day I had no blues but hadn’t finished out of the ribbons either. Holly had probably racked up a whole passel of blues, and Benson was second in point standings.

The course was posted and set. There were three obstacles arranged like \__/ except with a little less acute angulations, there was a combination down the fence line, and I think only one other obstacle. The combination could only be jumped in one direction, away from the in-gate. I don’t really remember about the others. I remember that I took that \__/ thing first, and went over first the left side of it, two bending strides to the right side of it, then a tight turn around to go over the middle, then the other obstacle, then the combination line, then tight turn back to the start/finish line. The line I picked was obviously the shortest. Holly’s horse was too big to have done it. Not a single person in the class picked the same line as any other person. When I watched the first two go, I knew if I could get around, I’d have it.

And we got around. I remember warming up, getting Lucky a little excited so he’d be wondering what was going on, moving faster than usual, away from my leg and forward. I remember going over that first jump, right over the start line, and holding my breath to see if I could make that second one. We did. If we can just do the rest clean I thought and then I don’t remember any more until after the final jump when I suddenly wondered where the finish line had gone and only then remember to turn. I still had the best time, by far. And we were clean.

I was hardly out of the arena when Benson shouted at me, “CG, that means you are Reserve Champion!” It hadn’t even occurred to me to calculate that. I wasn’t used to being in the running. But sure enough, I was Reserve Showmaster Champion.

So far this year (exactly 30 years since then!) has been exceedingly cold, too cold to ride, the arena frozen. But I have thought some about what glory I want from riding this year. And it is more a picture than I can put into words. There have been times when I wondered if perhaps I’d fooled myself, if I really never had been all that good to begin with. But then I remember the day with Noad, and the day of the Showmasters, and a few others; and then Holly wrote me not too long ago and said she’d found this horse that, when she rode him, she felt like she used to feel on a horse; like she was really good. She added that we really had been good back in the day, she and I.

What I want is not glory. It is not even anybody else noticing necessarily. What I want to do this year riding is to sink back into horses again, to that quietness. The riders I most admire, you never see them do anything. They’ll have perfect position, their horses will dance, but you won’t see much of anything. I want to achieve that stillness, that quietness. I want to sit inside the horse and for the horse to want to do what I want her to do, for nothing to exist for the horse or for me except for each the other and the dance.

I don't ask for much . . .